I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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