i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize