We need to rekindle our bromance
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
