ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I want her autograph on my taint
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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