i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
