you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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