We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
