Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
