I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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