I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize