i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
