When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize