Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
