True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
