i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
