BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
