Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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