My pussy is not your playground.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
