New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
