My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you inspire me to be a worse person
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
