my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
