Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
