So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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