There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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