My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
