nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
