i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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