Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
