just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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