Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
