i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
