Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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