...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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