Your face is a jimmy john
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
