who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
