i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
