I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
