bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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