absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
