Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
