Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
