What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
