Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
