Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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