I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
