this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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