My brain says no but my pants say off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
