I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's blow job season.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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