This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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