He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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