I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize