i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
