My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
