I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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