you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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