dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
