no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
