So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
