Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize