Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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