he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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