woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
