Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
