Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
