The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
