There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
