I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
